Sunday, October 24, 2010

i wonder what jelly fish dream about.

Music usually swings and swirls my thoughts around based on the song. So, while listening to Neon Indian on my evening walk, that was what my brain chewed on-- the dreams of jelly fish. I feel like this is something I could talk with Michel Gondry about for hours, a conversation that would promptly be followed by some sort of arts and crafts session. Man. That would be awesome. (And by the way, I think that whatever they dream about, it would look like a Murakami piece.)

So, I've pretty much hit the halfway point of my trip, which, among other things, is RIDICULOUS. I've been living in Southeast Asia for a month and a half. A month. And a half. That doesn't seem very long, and I suppose in the grand scheme of things it really isn't, but it feels long to me. I've gotten used to living here. I am comfortable & happy, and living with my aunt & cousin (they are so awesome- I'll write more about them later) has been great. But there's always a nagging feeling in the back of my head reminding me that this isn't home, that I'm a foreigner here. This nagging isn't bad, necessarily. It makes me homesick sometimes, but ultimately I'd like to think that it reminds me to continue to look at & experience everything with the same wide-eyed wonder & unfamiliarity that I had when I first landed in the Philippines in September.

I've settled into a sort of routine here. Chatting with my aunt over breakfast & tea. Internet-ing with loved ones. Yoga. Running. Getting fruit at the nearby market. Reading at a local coffee shop. Eating a banana in between each of the previously mentioned activities. Etc., etc. Routines always help me settle into new environments. Not that I always need a schedule to function. It's just helpful and calming to anchor myself into some type of structure, especially after floating around in transitional spaces & times.

My relationships with people have been changing a lot since I've been away. This was expected, but how they've changed has been largely unexpected. Some have, unfortunately, fallen into dusty neglect; some have hit the pause button and will resume when I get back to the states; others have surprisingly strengthened; and there those that have pretty much stayed the same, with Skype conversations over coffee, pretending to have the usual catch-up chat at Pete's (there's your shout out, Scott!). It's interesting how these relationships change when distance is introduced. Even with the capabilities of the internet, I think the physical distance becomes a mental distance as well, making communication difficult even when outlets for it are ever-present and ever-accessible. I wonder why that is though...

I can't imagine what long distance correspondence and relationships were like before modern conveniences. As romantic and lovely as I find handwritten letters, my proneness to homesickness would make them so unsatisfying as a sole means of communication. Perhaps it's because I'm a child of this generation or because I get so awfully attached to people, but I need more than just handwriting and narrative voice. God bless Skype and Gmail. Really. (They are in no way affiliated with me; I just love them.) Even if the audio lags, making the video look like a poorly dubbed film, video chatting is so lovely. I always feel a bit sad once I hang up, but that feeling is always very quickly replaced by a deep appreciation for who I just talked to and the fact that I was able to.

Yea. I'm just tiredly rambling. I'm going to go to bed now. G'night, world!

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